Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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