I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have aggressive nipples.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
