my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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