White coat. Heels.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
