would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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