Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
