what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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