oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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