R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
