did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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