you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
