Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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