I want to stick my p in your. b.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize