Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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