i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
