So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
cat food counts as protein by the way
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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