so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
