I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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