I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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