you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
