yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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