Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
