the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize