I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
