yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
