You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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