What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
