My Higher Power is John Stamos
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
