I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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