I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
