we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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