I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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