I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if only i could text you this smell
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
