your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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