forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
