After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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