You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
