i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Watching her eat just hurts me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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