just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
