wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm eating all of the evidence.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
