it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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