Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
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Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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