No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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