never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
They took my balls.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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