YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
