I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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