I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
