My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
