he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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