The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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