Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
