I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
