You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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