My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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