Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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