My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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