I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
