is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
