oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
