Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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