Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
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You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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