Buhtt sex?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
