I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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