She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
