Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
