By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize