Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
