when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
