Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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