Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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